SPRING

Song lyrics. I have always been one to enjoy listening to and learning lyrics to songs, and that has not changed. It's amazing how songs bridge gaps of time, stir up emotions, evoke memories. I go through waves of being in the mood to hear sad sappy love songs that I can relate to, to listening to angry metal music when I need to get energy out, to singing-a-long Disney songs that remind me of happy times and friends. I also appreciate my random lyric knowledge that has helped me gain some points in Dirty Diane (team name) trivia. Fun Fact: Currently loving the lyrics to James Arthur's "Say You Won't Let Go" 

Parks. With the weather getting warmer and the temperature being no-jacket-required, I'm looking forward to being able to spend more time outdoors. I'm lucky that there are a handful of parks providing nice paths and green scenery to encourage me to stay on the path towards becoming healthier. I'm just hoping my allergy medicine helps me as well. 

Running. Related to my appreciation for parks is the fact that I can get back into running again. It helps when you have small races to work towards. I would like to do another half marathon, maybe even the Disney one, but I need some time to get back in shape and work my way towards accomplishing that goal. I think this year I'll stick with 5Ks and 10Ks. More updates to follow with that as I sign up for some races with good friends to help encourage me!

Instax. I have always loved taking pictures, and though I appreciate the convenience of digital cameras and smartphones, I miss having the physical copy of a photograph. I received a Polaroid Instax camera for my birthday earlier this year and I love it. The picture quality is better than I imagined it would be and I enjoy the adorable accessories that came with the camera package that help display the polaroids in creative ways. From colorful mini frames to string frames and stickers, it is just a lot of fun. 

Negroni. Those that know me well know that I don't drink often, but will never turn away a good glass of wine or a strong cocktail here and there. My new favorite drink is one that I tried for the first time at my best friend's wedding last year, as I was introduced to it by one of my new (guy) best friend, Nico, as I managed to get some free drinks for the entire evening. The orange drink consists of 1 part gin, 1 part sweet vermouth, 1 part campari, a dash of orange bitters, and a twist of lemon is a nice mixture of sweet, bitter, and sour. Definitely a mature step up from my previous favorite bar go-to, Amaretto Sours. 

Guinea Pigs. Jonathan and I have formed good pet-parent relationships with our adorable guinea pigs. I'm looking forward to warmer weather when we can attempt to bring one of the little cages out to the front yard to give them some wandering time and grass-eating time. Weekly floor time is not as fun when you're stuck in a small apartment...On the positive, they are enjoying the new two-story home that Jonathan built for them, and I'm enjoying the new hidden storage areas underneath their cage. 

I'd like to update this blog more frequently. I will have to think of some fun things to share.

30

I had forgotten about this blog and clearly my attempt at creating "100 days of happiness" was a fail... I would like to update this blog more frequently though. 

Since my last post, I've encountered and experienced many changes in my life - some challenging, some amazing, but all offering life lessons. Since I'm a huge fan of making lists, I've decided to share some of these changes in list form!

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

1. I turned 30 last month. The couple of months leading up to this new age were filled with a whirlwind of emotions. Those already in their 30's reassured me that "your 30s are going to be your best years", while those under 30 shared my worry. In all honesty, 30 has been great so far. I'm realizing that your early 30s will probably be the years where you begin to forgive yourself for mistakes in your 20s, understand and make plans to reach your personal/life goals, and make bigger attempts at moving your life in a positive direction. I'm really looking forward to this new age of newly found confidence. 

2. I ran/jogged/walked a half marathon! 13.1 miles completed (thank you Jessika, bio-freeze, random kind co-runners, and Disney). I had made a goal to run a half marathon a few years ago, in order to prove that 30 is not old. This was definitely the most challenging thing I've experienced - physically and mentally. Somewhere between miles 8 and 9 I started doubting I could finish, but thanks to energy goo, encouraging words from other runners and volunteers, and Jessika, I somehow made it past the finish line.

3. I'm starting a new job next month. My dedication to the individuals I assist and my hard work all led to recognition in my workplace. I'm nervous about leaving my current position, especially knowing I have to say goodbye to my awesome co-workers who have become more like family this past year and a half, and to my clients that I've worked with for over a year as well. I will most likely cry, but I'm also excited to start a new chapter in my career and get an opportunity to help even more individuals. 

4. I have a new boyfriend. Jonathan. I don't want to be overly sappy with these entries, but he treats me well and makes me happy. He also has a lot of patience as I'm trying to re-learn how to date...it's been awhile since I've experienced the early stages of a relationship. (disclaimer: I think this is the first time on any internet outlet that I'm actually sharing that Jeremy and I are no longer together. It has been awhile since I moved out of our apartment, but we're both doing well, realize that we still get along, but are much happier being friends. Most people have told me they think we've treated the situation very maturely, which I agree with, but when you've spent over 10 years caring about someone, it is difficult to think of them negatively.)

5. I am taking time to get to know myself. Post-breakup I realized I didn't know myself as well as I used to. Strange as that sounds, I really took the next few months to re-learn what I liked, didn't like, wanted, and didn't want. I'm still in the early stages of this process, but have been heading in the right direction. I feel like I'm more positive about myself, engage in activities that I enjoy, have been reacquainted with old hobbies, and in turn it has made me a more positive and happy person. 

Life is crazy sometimes, but things are heading in a positive direction for me and I'm looking forward to it. 

100 Happy Days: Day Two - My Dad

I have been blessed with parents that are so amazing that they need two separate blog entries to express my gratitude for each of them. I chose to write this entry about my dad since I got to spend some time with him today. 

I've always been a "daddy's girl". My parents were both working full-time jobs, but as soon as I came into the picture, they made the decision together that my mom would continue to focus on career while my dad switched over to a part-time job schedule in order to make time to take care of me. From learning how to style my hair into braids (to prevent catching lice from other kids in school), to teaching me how to ride a bike (despite my lack of balance and coordination), my dad has always been a major part of my childhood. Even into the stages of pre-teen, teen, and young adulthood, my father continued to stay as patient as ever, support me no matter what, and love me unconditionally. He's the kind of dad that will lecture me for hours when I make a bad decision, yet be the first one there when I'm having a bad day. We have a tradition, started from my college days, to make a point to talk to each other at least once a day. Most of the time it's just a simple phone call to ask how we're each doing, to laugh about something funny, me asking for advice, or to discuss what we love best - how the New York Giants can win the Superbowl this year (or trying to convince my dad to keep watching and cheering for his team even when they have a terrible season like last year). 

Basically, knowing that there is always someone there for me that loves me, supports me, and appreciates me no matter how many mistakes I may make, or how many successes I accomplish, is one of the most gratifying feelings in the world. The field that I work in, and the exposure to a wide variety of parenting skills (or lack of skills in some cases), really makes me appreciate my dad even more. In addition to being a concrete support, I'm also grateful that I've managed to inherit three of the many traits my awesome dad possesses: 

1. A big heart

2. Humor

3. A strong appreciation for the NY Giants

I started as a "daddy's girl", and I certainly will always be one.

100 Happy Days: Day One - Jeremy

I'm not sure how many people still read my blog, but it's been awhile since my last entry. My previous one was written during my first few months in Maryland, but a lot has happened in the past year and I'm back in the garden state. 

I've been trying to gear myself towards being more grateful about people, places, experiences, opportunities that present themselves in my life. While doing some self-reflection, I realized that I need to focus more on the positives in my life, and while there are definitely times when the positives seem non-existent, the truth of the matter is that they are in fact there. There has also been a trend/challenge/whatever you want to call it on social media where users are posting up pictures/words that make them happy and using the label #100happydays. I've decided to attempt to incorporate that idea into my blog. (Disclaimer: I probably won't write entries in 100 consecutive days, but I will try my best to share 100 things I am happy about). I've found that one of the constant people I'm grateful for is Jeremy, my boyfriend of almost 10 years (Nine years, ten months, six days to be exact, but who is counting...). So, this first entry will be about him. 

Jeremy, as one of the couple of interviews he's been showcased in state, is actually one of the most fascinating people I know. Dictionary.com defines fascinating: "of great interest or attraction; enchanting; charming; captivating", and Jeremy encompasses that whole definition. Perhaps I'm biased since he's my significant other, but just as he likes to do when he's working through his scientific research, I will let the facts speak for themselves. He is a combination of intelligence, humor, athleticism, and kindness. I appreciate his intelligence and the amount of passion that he has for the fields of science and technology are inspiring. I often find myself aspiring to find a career that I am that passionate about, and become successful in it as well. His humor helps brighten my days, and lighten the most difficult of situations, and while I don't outwardly show that I appreciate this portion of him, I honestly do. Every day. His athleticism is inspiring as well. He's often hard on himself, but I enjoy seeing him so invested in the sport of basketball, not only continuing to play the sport on a weekly basis, but to also incorporate that love of the sport into the creation of an actual online game (check it out if you have time: http://basketball-gm.com/)! Lastly, I am grateful for his kindness that he shows me every day through different forms. From his patience and concern, to his hugs and cooking abilities, he makes me feel grateful on a daily basis to have him in my life. I will end this entry before it gets too sappy for some readers. I promise it won't take me another year before my next post!

Day One: Jeremy

Love and changes

The first time I read this article, I teared a bit. I thought of my parents when I first read this. Then I thought about the girlfriend I strive to be...

http://sethadamsmith.com/2013/11/02/marriage-isnt-for-you/

It has been awhile since my last update. I'll write a longer post later this week. But since the last post, I've experienced a lot of changes - new apartment, new living situation, new town, new state, and recently, new job! Tomorrow is my first day of training and to say that I am excited and eager to start would be an understatement. A lot of changes happening in my life, but I'm enjoying all of them so far! 

More later this week :) 

Self-Improvement Summer

In the month since graduating, I have been spending time working on job applications and figuring out where my life is taking me. Unfortunately, I am still jobless, but trying to stay on the positive side. I've been told August is the peak hiring season for my field, and have also been advised that July job posts/hiring are usually scarce. I can't believe next week is already JULY!

So with the apparent expectation of a job search lull, I have decided to dedicate the month of July towards overall self-improvements. With my previous gym going through multiple renovations (and portions of the building that I used often being closed), I have planned a new work-out routine. Something with more interest and diversity. I've been told keeping the working out routine new and different on a daily to weekly basis helps the body work harder as it attempts to get used to the changes. Although I believe that exercise is an important part of transforming one's self, I also understand that no changes are going to be possible without watching what you eat. I plan on doing more of a portion-control "diet" rather than the usual starvation method. Besides, from previous experience, no carbs = no fun.

In addition to my physical goals for improving myself, I would like to continue becoming an expert in my field - through books, webinars, journals, etc. If anything, it will also help me improve my likelihood of getting hired once the job interviews begin (hopefully).

Mental health is also important, and through introspection I have realized I have a really low threshold for stress...that meaning I experience panic attacks when I am feeling highly stressed out. I would like to start getting back into trying new things, but also enhancing previous skills and hobbies I used to enjoy. My goals this summer is to spend more time getting back into creative arts - drawing, sketching, painting, crafting, etc. Even if it just means taking 20-30 minutes of my day to sketch in my sketchbook.

So hopefully a combination of all of these personal goals will help me improve. I will try my best to keep this blog updated with my progress. Feel free to leave comments, as any encouragement is always welcomed.

Happy Summer!

Graduation Day

I got a little teary-eyed this morning as the reality of graduating set in. I've worked my butt off for the past three years studying, trying to learn as much as possible, gain a greater sense of self-awareness, improved my counseling skills, and meeting great people along the way. In the first semester of graduate school, it was the first time I realized that this is really the field for me, and that working so hard to do well was the right (and enjoyable) thing to do. I've had to make sacrifices, had to push myself, had to encourage myself to do more and I'm so happy with the outcome.

I am so so grateful for all of the kind messages my friends and family have sent me sharing their pride in my reaching this graduation day. Maybe even more important is the pride that I finally feel about myself. I worked hard and I accomplished so much, and along the way I've made differences in the lives of students!

Thinking back on my past year of practicum and internship experiences, I've confirmed again that school counseling is the field I am meant to work. I think I cried this morning thinking back on all of the warm smiles, hugs, and encouragement I received from the students that I worked with and the staff that have helped me along the way. Hearing things like, "school won't be the same without you here", "thank you for helping me not feel alone", "thank you for helping us all so much this year", "thank you for making this year so much fun", to teachers telling me "thank you for helping my student. She has improved so much because of all the effort and care that you put in", to messages on the board the last day of my internship, "Thanks for everything! We will all miss you", to two of the students that most of the faculty find to be the most difficult to work with giving me hugs and telling me that they will really miss me, to the handful of homemade cards from the students...thinking back on all of it really brings me to tears. Happy tears.

Three years ago  I came into the graduate program with an inkling that school counseling might be a great job for me, and three years later I know that it's what I want to do.

So happy about graduating today, but even more excited about the future students I can finally help by earning this degree.

Home stretch

It's been awhile since I've updated this blog. My last year of my Masters program has kept me busy.

I'm in the last few months of the program, and as long as I pass my comprehensive exam, I'll be graduating this May! Along with my graduation comes the dreaded job search. I'm hoping once more districts figure out their budgets/needs for next school year, more job opportunities will arise. I'm also trying my best to remember which of my friends, family, or acquaintances are in the education field, since most jobs are found knowing people who know people who know people.

This time in my life brings me back to my senior year of undergrad, when my future was unclear. The difference between who I was back then and who I am now is the determination and hard work that I've dedicated into earning my MA, receiving training from amazing site supervisors & professors, and having confidence that I am capable of being successful in this field.

As with all change, the future can be scary, but I'm certain that whatever it holds for me will be fulfilling.

My last thought before I return to studying...a lesson that I have learned and continue to learn through experiences: If you want something you have to keep working for it. The easiest way out is to give up and move on, yet with determination and hard work, all goals can eventually be reached.

Futures

You realize you're growing up when your Facebook newsfeed reflects the new changes going on in your friends' lives. From getting engaged, to getting married, to having babies, buying new homes and getting promotions, all of these make you realize you're no longer children or adolescents, but instead venturing into the responsible lives of young adults. 

As happy as I am for all my friends experiencing these changes, I still can't help but wonder when and where my own life is taking me. It's very easy to get into a slump when you're witnessing others going through what you hope to experience some day. For example: I'm not engaged, married, and though I want children at some point in my life, I am nowhere near prepared for that role/responsibility/lifestyle yet. Buying a new home and getting a promotion would be great too, yet financially the first is unattainable and promotion would require having a full-time/steady job. 

I'm not going to lie, the pressure surrounding Jeremy and I about engagement, marriage, etc. continues to grow on a daily basis. Some days it gets to me, yet others it doesn't. I like to focus on how I feel on those latter days. On those days I am able to remove myself from others' relationships and comparing mine to theirs and remain genuinely happy that they are at that point in their lives where they're engaged and/or married, yet also be grateful that I have Jeremy, who continues to be my strongest supporter and source of encouragement on a daily basis. 

So what's the point of this entry? Another one of my ramblings I guess... but basically, the future that I envision myself having is already occurring for some of my friends, and while I continue sitting on the other side of fence thinking that "the grass is greener", I'm happy and content with the relationships and accomplishments that I have to keep me company. 

New changes are happening everyday for my friends, and I couldn't be happier for all of them.

Karen Huff Klein

This video is beyond upsetting, and brought me nearly to tears hearing how cruel students were to this bus aide who was simply trying to do her job.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/06/20/greece-school-district-bullied-footage-causes-outrage_n_1612925.html?utm_hp_ref=fb&src=sp&comm_ref=false

Working at schools, I've noticed a trend. Parents, not saying all of them, but many of them, taking less ownership of their children, continuing to blame schools and school staff, and sending their children the message that they are perfect angels who can do no wrong. I have no doubt in my mind that at least one of the parents of these bullies will stick up for their child, and will blame the bus aide. It's one of the sad realities that I've witnessed from present-day parents...they don't spend enough time teaching their children right from wrong, and the most important trait - how to be respectful. Incidents like this scare me, and make me second guess my decision to work in the school setting. However, it also inspires me to continue being the advocate for students who are going through difficult times, and who lack the parents in their lives to teach them how to be respectful individuals.

With the increasing amount of bullying happening throughout the country, and the perpetrators getting younger and younger, I've always wondered how children so young can learn how to be so hateful towards others. How can a middle school student find it appropriate and necessary to say things like, "you're alone because you family all killed themselves to get away from you". It saddens, confuses, and surprises me.

As with my post from a couple years ago on Tyler Clementi, my message continues to be the same - despite our differences, despite our interests, values, religion, age, race, gender, etc..we are all people, and like I always tell my students "we don't have to all be friends with each other, but the best thing we can do is be friendly and respectful".

On a last note, I'm so grateful for my parents for teaching me how to be a respectful and considerate person, and for not allowing me to become anywhere near how terrible these children are.

Food Blog - Revisited

A few friends pointed out that I should recreate my food blog. As some of you may know, I had started a food blog a couple years ago, then stupidly deleted it by mistake.

On my list of many things to do this summer, will be to practice my baking and cooking skills. I've been wanting to turn my passion for baking into some profit for my wallet, but have yet to make it work. I think the combination of my "niceness" and generosity to constantly be giving to others and feeling guilty if I were to charge them, is to blame.

My semester ends this week, so be on the lookout for a future blog entry with a link to my new baking/cooking blog...it's sure to be a treat :)

30 Things...and Then Some

The Huffington Post shared this list of 30 Things every woman should have and know by the time they reach 30. 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/04/24/turning-30-30-things-every-woman-should-have-and-should-know_n_1447368.html

Being that I've currently returned to making lists and setting direct goals for myself (see last post), I figured this would be a great reference to use. There are some items on this list that I have already reached, attained, or accomplished, which is a great positive esteem booster. The longer list of things I have yet to learn or buy? Well, at least I still have four years to complete those...

Revisiting this old post idea that was spreading a couple years ago...if you were to make a list of items/lessons every person should have or know, what would be on it?

Summer

This semester is quickly coming to an end!

This summer I will have a lot of free time, so I figured instead of being a bum I would make some goals I would like to work on. 

1. Get in better shape. Eating/cooking healthier, getting more exercise (new gym classes), more use of my bike,    buy new rollerblades, go for walks daily. 

2. Paint again. I miss this old hobby of mine. I'm aiming to get some new decorative pieces for my room, and possibly start/finish that painting I promised Jeremy two years ago...

3. Read more. I want to continue learning more about effective counseling techniques, but would also like to get back into reading for fun. 

4. Beach trips. I feel so relaxed when I'm at the beach, that I think I would really benefit from increased beach trips. 

5. Weekend getaway. As much as I love traveling with friends and family, I've never been away on my own. I think a couple days to just spoil myself with spa treatments, and have some alone time to reflect would be great for clearing my mind and de-stressing. 

6. Bake sale. I'm planning on using my culinary talent for good. Invites will be sent later on, but I'm planning on holding two different get-togethers/bake sales to raise money for two great causes.

7. Spend more time with Jeremy. Our busy semesters don't let us spend enough time together...

8. Improve my cooking skills. I think they're getting better, but I would really love to spend more time cooking meals completely from scratch and experiencing the pride and satisfaction from reaching a final (and successful) meal. 

9. Catch up with old friends. I've been feeling disconnected from a lot of people lately, and I know it's no one's fault, life happens, but I do miss a lot of friendships that used to be much stronger. 

10. Clean my room. My room is not necessarily a "mess", but I want to get rid of all the old things I don't use that are just taking up space. 

Practice What You Preach

I should really start listening to the messages that I try to teach my students every week...

Specifically, "People will do things that you may not like, but we can't change others. The only people we have full control over are ourselves and the reactions we have are our own choosing".

Funny how I've been working on all of these social skills, proper interactions, using good manners, and taking personal responsibility with the 4th and 5th graders, yet people my age and older seem to be able to benefit from these important life lessons as well. But, like my first message states, I am the only one I have full control over. In a way this is empowering, with the fact that I have the freedom to choose my own life path, yet it is also annoying because as much as I choose to be kind to others, I have no control over their actions and reactions.

I guess it's like that saying, also considered the "golden rule": Do unto others as you would have them do unto you...

but that saying should really read: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you, yet know that people suck sometimes and they might not return the kindness".

Seeing the Positive of Negatives

In each of our lives, there are too many people for us to please at all times. I've only recently understood and accepted this statement.

Even when criticized, I have turned to my attempts at becoming a more positive and productive person and try not to let the bad days ruin my outlook and determination for success. Some days are tougher than others, with the constant stress of school and work getting to me, and topped with nagging criticisms from people that are supposed to be supporting me.

My experiences this semester working in the school and practicing my skills for the career I esteem to have in the future has really opened my eyes and changed me, in good ways. I find that Fridays are now the days I look forward to the most...not because it marks the end of the work week and the start of the weekend, but because it is the day that I get to work with students and use the skills I have learned thus far in my program towards helping them succeed. At the start of this semester I was filled with anxiety and worry about whether or not I'd do well in this field, about whether or not I would be able to apply the lessons learned in the courses to the actual interactions with the students, and worried whether or not I would enjoy what I have been working almost two years to do. I feel like I have grown as a person through my practicum experience. My determination to work hard towards improving my skills continues to strengthen every week that I work with the students and am supervised by my supervisors. Every day of the job carries a new challenge, and to be honest the students that I work with don't know it, but they are teaching me just as much as I am helping and teaching them.

So today has been a busy day, and I still have so much left to be done, but I am certain that with a positive outlook and attitude, tomorrow has the potential of being much better.

Facebook

I will be the first to admit that I don't think twice about posting up pictures from events in my life, and now that most cellphones are equipped with cameras, photo updating on Facebook has gotten even easier to do. And while I still believe that Facebook is a great venue for old friends to stay in touch and reconnect, lately it has gotten to be more of an annoyance to me.

I have been wanting to do some research on the emotional/psychological effects of using Facebook, as well as seeing if there are any correlations between these factors and things such as gender, relationship status, number of min/hours of daily Facebook usage. I started thinking of this research idea when I realized that not many people post up images of negative portions of their lives, nor do they usually post up daily statuses about life being miserable. You would think that after viewing status after status (thank you News Feed) of smiling faces in tropical places, messages between significant others, relationship status changes, and promotions/new jobs/new baby/new dog/new car/new everything, it would start to take a toll on people. Facebook, while having many positive features and useful functions for sharing and learning about friends and family, can also pose a negative effect.

I had a conversation with a good friend earlier this year about Facebook. We had decided that no one wants to document the negatives in their lives. Even on a daily basis, we're not whipping out our cameras to document having a fight, having a bad hair day, losing a job, a friend, girlfriend, boyfriend, etc. We don't want people knowing that we're not doing well. In some ways, there is often shame that comes along with having to admit that we're not perfect and that we have experienced failure/disappointment, so instead we share our accomplishments. And through Facebook, we choose to accentuate those positives through uploading pictures and statuses in hopes that the next time we sign in there will be a large count of "thumbs up" icons as people show approval of our life going well. There is nothing wrong with sharing your accomplishments. In fact, one of the psychologies/counseling strategies that I pride myself in focusing on is positive psychology/positive regard, meaning helping a student/client realize and focus on all the things they do well and all the things going well in their lives rather than dwelling on the negatives. In therapy, it gives the client a greater sense of self-esteem, as well as empowerment when he/she realizes that they are capable of succeeding. I guess, in a way, Facebook reflects this. I have had terrible days where I go on Facebook and look through old photos, reminisce, and end up feeling better afterwards. However, I feel like the amount of time spent on Facebook, for most individuals, is increasing. Especially given the easy access that is now available via smart phones - now you can check Facebook every minute of every day of your life, reception-permitting.

Continuous and frequent access to Facebook has the potential to give individuals the unrealistic notion that everyone but them have perfect lives. It has the potential to cause sadness in individuals in situations where they may be stuck in a rut, or having a bad day, and are exposed to reading all the fun things other people are doing and seeing pictures to visually prove their lives are great.

I am not, in any way, trying to say that I think people should stop making status updates, or picture posts, but just wanted to throw some ideas out there. But the next time you sign onto Facebook, there is nothing wrong with letting the world know that you are in fact "OMG I'm TOTALLY in love with the greatest man/woman in the whole wide world and am SO lucky!!!<3 <3 <3", nor is it wrong to share that picture of you and your group of friends having dinner at Macaroni Grill, but if you find a time where you're more of the viewer rather than the one posting, be assured that what people share on Facebook is just a limited view into their lives and that everything posted should be taken at face value (pun intended), more specifically - a small blue and white window into their lives...unless they have timeline and a cover photo.

Fair, Well

My best friend left today and won't be back until the end of July. To say that I am sad is an understatement. I guess this is what happens when you've been spoiled getting to spend time together multiple times a week for the past five months.

The semester workload is already stressing me out and keeping my overwhelmed and busy, which worries me since it's only been one week since classes started. I'm definitely in for another challenging semester, but I'm sure if I stay motivated and working hard, I'll be able to maintain my GPA and learn important lessons.

Last Friday was the first day of my practicum, and it was hectic, but exciting and enjoyable. I'm really looking forward to working more closely with the students and assisting them in achieving and empowering themselves. I was nervous before my first day, but am not eager and excited for what is to come the rest of the semester.

So life is stressful right now, but manageable and I think that regardless of the stress and white hairs (ick, I found two more this morning), continuing to do well and work hard will prove to be beneficial.

Things that I am looking forward to the next couple of weeks/months: Giants in the Superbowl!! 4th row tickets to the Bulls/Nets game next Monday (right next to the bulls locker room entrance - meaning I might be able to high five Kyle Korver)!! My birthday! Valentine's Day! Orlando for a few days during Spring Break :)

Hope 2012 has been treating you all well so far!

The end of another year

Around this time of the year I'm always reflecting on what I've accomplished, how far I've come in my goals/resolutions, things I've fallen short of completing, relationships I've made-maintained-or lost, and how a new year is approaching. I like to think that with a new year comes the opportunity to start "fresh". To leave the mistakes and regrets that were experienced in 2011 in exactly that, 2011. To look forward to new adventures and possibilities for success.

In a year I've learned a lot about myself, feel proud of what I've succeeded in accomplishing, but know that there are still many things I can do towards improving myself towards the best person I can be.

That being said, I've also been confused lately about what I want out of different parts of life. Confusion and I never mix well together. I just wish I had a better sense that the harder I work towards specific goals, the easier they'll be able to attain and the better life will become.

Not sure if I'm making much sense or just rambling since it's almost 1am and I'm exhausted, but I'm thankful for what I've experienced in 2011 and am hopeful for what is to come in 2012. I think I'll wait until the new year to write another update, so Happy Holidays and Happy New Year to my readers.

Retrospect

When I was ten I was one of those little girls that dreamed of meeting a prince who would sweep me off my feet, would fall in love with me, and would live in one of those happily-ever-afters. When I was fifteen I realized that not many of these "princes" exist in real life. When I was sixteen I started thinking about my future timeline: college, medical school, engaged for 5 years, married and with kids by 27. When I was eighteen I realized that I enjoyed biology, hated chemistry and science apparently hated me in return (based on grades). I also realized that I did not want to go to medical school, and the engaged for 5 years and married with kids by 27 was still part of the plan. When I was almost nineteen I met Jeremy, realized that the man I envisioned when I was ten was real and had fallen in love with me as well. When I was twenty I realized that a 5 year engagement was extremely long and why should you wait that long to marry the one that you love? When I was twenty two I realized that the real world was difficult to get established in and that the 4 years of college I had just finished with a degree in Psychology left me uncertain about what I was passionate in doing career-wise. This is also the year that I realized having children comes with a lot of responsibility - financially, physically, emotionally.

I am twenty five now, nearing twenty six. Reflecting on my timeline...I finished college and managed to get accepted into a Masters program working towards a career that I am genuinely passionate about. I did not go to medical school, but am happy with my decision. I have not been engaged for five years, but have been in a healthy relationship for over seven. Clearly not being engaged means I'm not married, nor am I anywhere near ready to have children.

Many things can change over a 15 year span. Many things change even in a year. I think the problem with making these time lines is that it forces us to forget what is going on in the present and how these current experiences affect and effect us. Having a general idea of what you want out of life is a positive thing, but limiting your opportunities and experiences to fit them can lead to negative results and feelings. As I see more people around me getting engaged, having children, buying new homes, establishing their careers, I start feeling envious and saddened by the fact that they're experiencing all these new stages and steps in their lives that I thought I'd be closer to experiencing at this point. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate all that I have...it's just interesting to retrospect and wonder what ten year old me would think of this twenty five year old me...

Annoyance

I have less patience than I used to for people that are rude and inconsiderate. Apparently it has gotten to a point where it bothers me so much that I had to write a blog entry about it. Hopefully future blog entries will be more interesting...