Transformation

"He who has a why to live can bear almost any how" -- Friedrich Nietzsche

The triple birthday celebration went well last Friday. Everyone that I've talked to post-partying said they had a lot of fun. Probably going to be the last big birthday celebration that I have. I wish I had taken more photos.

I think I'm going to take a hiatus from this blogger and dig up the old paper journal to record my thoughts, wishes, feelings. I've just been going through a lot of self-discovery and feel like it'd be easier for me to be completely honest about everything if I didn't post it for all to see and judge.

I woke up this morning realizing that I'm really 25. Not to say that every 25 year old (or 26 - 30 year old) has their life in order and knows what they want, but I just feel like I need more time to work on my goals and to figure out how to achieve them. I just want to feel accomplished and successful.

I will probably post a new picture, link, recipe every now and then, but updates and personal entries will probably not return until after the semester is over (May).

Hopefully I will be able to get most of my life in order and figure out where I need improvements and how to accomplish them. Self-reflection is a good thing, right?

Birthdays and Love

My birthday was on Sunday. I had a nice relaxing day at home, basically studying. I also got to chat with my three best friends for a couple hours, which was really great. I miss them a lot. I went for dinner with my parents and then had a celebratory cupcake from sugar + sunshine bakery in pboro (chocolate cake with strawberry frosting). Based on the candle count, I turned one. Friends and family asked me what I wanted as presents for my birthday, and of course I told them to not get me anything. In reality, the things I appreciate the most are birthday cards. Nowadays people always email each other, which is fine, but I write a lot of snail mail, and I always feel like it's more personalized when you have a physical card that someone took the time to write out to you.

Monday was Valentine's Day. I had a terrible morning, but went out to get groceries, picked up Jeremy from work, and went back to his apartment to cook him a three-course meal. Meal consisted of:

Appetizer: Sesame Shrimp over avocado with Passion Sauce (oven-baked shrimp over fresh avocado slices and a sweet and spicy raspberry sauce sprinkled with sesame seeds)

Entrée: Chicken with a Lemon Brodetto over garlic spinach (seasoned chicken breast, lemon sauce with shallots, and spinach sauteed with garlic)

Dessert: Lemon Ricotta Granata (lemon ice slushy topped with sweet ricotta, fresh lemon zest and sprinkling of dark chocolate)

Unfortunately, there was no time to eat the dessert since I had to rush out to get to class on time. And I literally RAN to class...

If you couldn't tell, my gift for Jeremy was this meal and a card. In return, he wrote me a poem.

Valentines Day has always been my favorite holiday, only because it's near my birthday. It's so interesting to see the spectrum of reactions and celebrations on valentines day though. It ranges from singles moping about and dreading being alone, to singles celebrating not having to spend money and worry about this hallmark holiday, to couples expressing more love for one another, to couples spending ridiculous amounts of money on wining, dining, flowers and sweets. One thing I don't like about this day is that it often gives people the impression that there's only one day a year where you should express your love for your significant other. Luckily, I have Jeremy, who I know loves me everyday. :)

Positive Thinking

Yesterday was the first session of counseling that I had in my lab course. It was the first time that I experienced what it was like to lead a session and be a counselor. As nervous as I was to begin with, I managed to calm down and incorporate some of the techniques I learned thus far into the session. I felt accomplished afterwards and it was definitely one of the first times I've realized that maybe I can do this - be in this profession and be not only great at it, but excellent. It feels good to have some confirmation that the field or profession you chose is the right one for you.

On another positive note, triple birthday celebration is coming up soon! I'm excited to see everyone and just have a good time. I feel like with the stresses of school work, classes, and babysitting, it is difficult to fit in a social life. This will be a lot of fun though. I'm also excited to go to the Zaffron Grand Opening this weekend!

My birthday is coming up, and usually around this time I'm stressed out and bummed out about it. For the first time in awhile, I'm actually doing well and thinking positively about this. Maybe it means I'm maturing? Probably not. But most aspects of my life are doing well, so I'm happy.

Wishlist

http://www.stevemadden.com/Item.aspx?id=56103&np=127_282-136_394

I have a bad habit of wanting new tall sexy heels, buying them, then having nothing to wear them for...and looking like a drunken idiot whenever I do wear them out.

Counseling

In my theories class on Monday, the professor asked someone to volunteer to be his client as he showed us an example of a counseling session. It was both inspiring and frightening. Inspiring in that, after the session (about 30 minutes) was over, he allowed us to ask questions and gave explanations on techniques for a better session. Frightening in that it was one of the first times I've had a glimpse into a real-life session and realized just how open and vulnerable my clients are going to be and how much stronger I am going to have to get to be able to help them whole-heartedly. I think I am most afraid of failing them.

Additionally, I've started wondering if I treat some of my relationships with the new techniques I've learned in counseling courses...which is not necessarily a good thing. I've always been a good listener, but now when friends come to me with problems, my mind is always thinking "don't insert your own ideas on them, that's not what they want! they need to come up with solutions on their own". But sometimes, that is what my friends need, a friend who is on their side and can help them with their problems. I need to work on being able to handle the counseling that I'll be doing with clients/students and be able to step away from that and step back into my normal life.