Seeing the Positive of Negatives

In each of our lives, there are too many people for us to please at all times. I've only recently understood and accepted this statement.

Even when criticized, I have turned to my attempts at becoming a more positive and productive person and try not to let the bad days ruin my outlook and determination for success. Some days are tougher than others, with the constant stress of school and work getting to me, and topped with nagging criticisms from people that are supposed to be supporting me.

My experiences this semester working in the school and practicing my skills for the career I esteem to have in the future has really opened my eyes and changed me, in good ways. I find that Fridays are now the days I look forward to the most...not because it marks the end of the work week and the start of the weekend, but because it is the day that I get to work with students and use the skills I have learned thus far in my program towards helping them succeed. At the start of this semester I was filled with anxiety and worry about whether or not I'd do well in this field, about whether or not I would be able to apply the lessons learned in the courses to the actual interactions with the students, and worried whether or not I would enjoy what I have been working almost two years to do. I feel like I have grown as a person through my practicum experience. My determination to work hard towards improving my skills continues to strengthen every week that I work with the students and am supervised by my supervisors. Every day of the job carries a new challenge, and to be honest the students that I work with don't know it, but they are teaching me just as much as I am helping and teaching them.

So today has been a busy day, and I still have so much left to be done, but I am certain that with a positive outlook and attitude, tomorrow has the potential of being much better.

Facebook

I will be the first to admit that I don't think twice about posting up pictures from events in my life, and now that most cellphones are equipped with cameras, photo updating on Facebook has gotten even easier to do. And while I still believe that Facebook is a great venue for old friends to stay in touch and reconnect, lately it has gotten to be more of an annoyance to me.

I have been wanting to do some research on the emotional/psychological effects of using Facebook, as well as seeing if there are any correlations between these factors and things such as gender, relationship status, number of min/hours of daily Facebook usage. I started thinking of this research idea when I realized that not many people post up images of negative portions of their lives, nor do they usually post up daily statuses about life being miserable. You would think that after viewing status after status (thank you News Feed) of smiling faces in tropical places, messages between significant others, relationship status changes, and promotions/new jobs/new baby/new dog/new car/new everything, it would start to take a toll on people. Facebook, while having many positive features and useful functions for sharing and learning about friends and family, can also pose a negative effect.

I had a conversation with a good friend earlier this year about Facebook. We had decided that no one wants to document the negatives in their lives. Even on a daily basis, we're not whipping out our cameras to document having a fight, having a bad hair day, losing a job, a friend, girlfriend, boyfriend, etc. We don't want people knowing that we're not doing well. In some ways, there is often shame that comes along with having to admit that we're not perfect and that we have experienced failure/disappointment, so instead we share our accomplishments. And through Facebook, we choose to accentuate those positives through uploading pictures and statuses in hopes that the next time we sign in there will be a large count of "thumbs up" icons as people show approval of our life going well. There is nothing wrong with sharing your accomplishments. In fact, one of the psychologies/counseling strategies that I pride myself in focusing on is positive psychology/positive regard, meaning helping a student/client realize and focus on all the things they do well and all the things going well in their lives rather than dwelling on the negatives. In therapy, it gives the client a greater sense of self-esteem, as well as empowerment when he/she realizes that they are capable of succeeding. I guess, in a way, Facebook reflects this. I have had terrible days where I go on Facebook and look through old photos, reminisce, and end up feeling better afterwards. However, I feel like the amount of time spent on Facebook, for most individuals, is increasing. Especially given the easy access that is now available via smart phones - now you can check Facebook every minute of every day of your life, reception-permitting.

Continuous and frequent access to Facebook has the potential to give individuals the unrealistic notion that everyone but them have perfect lives. It has the potential to cause sadness in individuals in situations where they may be stuck in a rut, or having a bad day, and are exposed to reading all the fun things other people are doing and seeing pictures to visually prove their lives are great.

I am not, in any way, trying to say that I think people should stop making status updates, or picture posts, but just wanted to throw some ideas out there. But the next time you sign onto Facebook, there is nothing wrong with letting the world know that you are in fact "OMG I'm TOTALLY in love with the greatest man/woman in the whole wide world and am SO lucky!!!<3 <3 <3", nor is it wrong to share that picture of you and your group of friends having dinner at Macaroni Grill, but if you find a time where you're more of the viewer rather than the one posting, be assured that what people share on Facebook is just a limited view into their lives and that everything posted should be taken at face value (pun intended), more specifically - a small blue and white window into their lives...unless they have timeline and a cover photo.