2010

Apologies go out to those that I've caused worry and stress to with my unending blog entries.

My best friend suggested that when making new years resolutions, one should write them down. I spent a good 20 minutes earlier this week to do that and think about reasonable things that I want and would be able to accomplish for myself this year.

A few of the more important ones are: 1.) Be a kinder, more considerate person (including to myself) and 2.) Put aside a few hours a week to do something I honestly, truly enjoy like painting or reading, that I haven't done in forever.

2009, minus about 3 months, was probably the most difficult year of my life, but 2010 brings a clean slate and a fresh start and hope.

This year has already been great so far. I started off the year wonderfully surrounded by GREAT friends and my loving boyfriend, have been busy focusing on graduate school applications with a lot of hopefulness, have been spending fun times with my favorite little cousins, have been spending time with my boyfriend and falling more in love with him each day, and my parents are coming around and starting to give me more freedom. I've also been doing more babysitting, and looking harder for more full-time jobs in a greater spectrum of fields, as well as eating healthier and working in more time for exercise.

It feels great to be able to list so many things I can already be proud of for the New Year. And it also feels great to say that though there may be a few bumps in the road, I know I'll be able to handle them and overcome them as well. Hope is a good thing to have.

It's just emotion..

I hate being an overly emotional girl. I guess it is better than being an emotionless boy. I just hate the fact that my emotions are all over the place. One minute I am happy and everything seems perfect, yet the next minute I am sad and everything seems terrible. And I'm pretty sure that not all of this can be blamed on PMS or sudden symptoms of bi-polar. I just hate how it's so easy for me to fall into sadness when it takes 100 times the effort to be happy.

Well, old habits die hard, but I'm determined to keep myself out of the sad and stick to the happy.

As usual, this entry may not make any sense for I am sleep-deprived, sore from strenuous workouts, bloated & crampy, and food-deprived as well. Maybe some hot tea and good tunes will relax me...

Random re-occurring thought of the day: I miss my best friends.

2009 in Review

Maybe I'll make it a tradition of mine to fill out one of these "year in review" questionnaires every year. Then I can see how little or how much I have changed...

Bored and failing at my attempt to write more of my personal statements = this.

"Year In Review" Survey For 2009

1. What did you do in 2009 that you'd never done before?

Received a decent score on a standardized test

2. Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make more in 2009?

I didn't make any resolutions

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

My cousin Nicole did, thus my godchild, Kiley Faith was born! :)
4. Did anyone close to you die?

Thankfully, no
5. What countries did you visit?

Canada, Philippines!

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?

A stable job, high self-esteem, maybe an engagement ring :P
7. What date(s) from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
-my birthday party spent with great friends

-the whole month of May spent in the Philippines

-my month at HUGE working with great people

-10/23 5 years with Jeremy

- New Year's Eve

- time spent with family and FFFCUP
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Surviving 2009
9. What was your biggest failure?
Not taking better care of myself
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

First time ever in the ER sometime in June for an unknown virus
11. What was the best thing you bought?

new laptop in January
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Jeremy - for continuing to love me and support me and for being patient with me as well.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
No comment.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Clothes, movies, health insurance and food
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Going to the Philippines for a whole MONTH!
16. What song will always remind you of 2009?

Not sure...
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
Wiser? Slightly
Healthier? Not really...
Richer? Not at all
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Taken better care of myself, found a stable job, spent more time with Jeremy, painted
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Worrying and arguing
20. How will you be spending Christmas?
Christmas in 2009 was pretty uneventful
22. Did you fall in love in 2009?

I was already in love and still am...
23. How many one-night stands?
none.
24. What was your favorite TV program?
Gossip Girl, The Office

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time of the year last year?
no. I never really hate people.
26. What was the best book you read?
The Lucky One
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Owl City, A Fine Frenzy
28. What did you want and get?

Not sure..
29. What did you want and not get?
A lot of things...

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
Maybe Avatar
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Had a black and white-themed cocktail party with friends, 23
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
Comfy, girly, preppy
34. What kept you sane?
Jeremy, FFFCUP, my little cousins, Charu, other friends
35. Who did you miss?

grandparents
36. Who did something for you that you will never forget?

I don't know...
37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009.
No matter how hard you try to give to others and share kindness with them, there will always be people that take your kindness for granted and may not return it towards you. Instead of being angry about this, one should continue to be kind and realize we can't change people. There will always be evil in the world no matter what we do. Life is full of difficult choices and impossible situations, but that's just life and we all only get one so it's better for us to live life to the fullest because years from now we will remember the things we didn't do more than the things we did. AND, don't take the ones that love you for granted because you never know when one day will be the last that you get to spend with them...don't be

afraid to tell (and show) those that you care about that you appreciate them - everyday..**(WOW, I wrote this for 2008, but I will keep it)**

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
"'Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly, but I'll miss your arms around me. I'll send a postcard to you dear, 'cause I wish you were here" - Vanilla Twilight, OWL CITY