Thursday, September 30, 2010

I hate bad news

A friend of mine posted a link to an article about an 18 year old freshman at Rutgers who committed suicide last week by jumping off of the GW bridge. The student did this a few days after he found out his roommate had secretly streamed a video of him and another male student in their dorm room onto the internet.




This is disturbing in many ways. First of all, this is a young man who had many years of life ahead of him and it is sad to think of the endless possibilities the future held for him, but will now never be known. It also saddens me that he felt there were no other options, no one to talk to, no other forms of dealing with this bullying. Granted, I'm not saying that the two students who were responsible for setting up the webcam and broadcasting/tweeting about it had any right to do so, but I'm just saddened that he felt there were no other ways to deal with the situation.

It also bothers me how anyone can invade others' privacy and use the internet in attempts to either humiliate or "expose" somebody. Acts of intimacy and sexuality, whether they are heterosexual, homosexual, transgender, etc, are meant to be kept between the individuals that are involved in it. There's no reason to invade your roommate's privacy and to broadcast it to the world without he or she knowing. And to read the tweets that this student posted, "yes it's happening again", is unnecessary and should be unacceptable.

Additionally, this story hits me even harder because the two students being charged are from the other HS in my town (North) and are all Rutgers students. I assume these students were both raised in households that would never approve of this sort of torment/bullying/invasion of privacy. As one of the articles I linked stated, Rutgers is a diverse community and it made me happy to hear about the start of a courtesy and kindness campaign initiated a couple months ago. Unfortunately, the campaign did not seem to reach everybody and bullying/harassment still occurs, as evident in this tragedy.

When I first read about this incident, I was saddened (the second suicide that has effected/affected me in the short time span of a couple months - the first being Mr. Welsh's). Suicide is always a difficult topic to discuss, and always upsets me when I hear about it - maybe it's because of my desire to be a counselor and a listening ear to any of my friends who are in need. Then I was angry, mainly at the two students who set up this webcam broadcasting. But regardless of whether this makes you angry, sad, frustrated, etc, I think it can teach many things. Lately, I've been trying to think positively about everything, or rather see the lessons that each experience offers.

The bottom line is that everyone should follow the golden rule - treat others how you would like to be treated. Before doing any actions, one should really consider the consequences and impact. If Tyler Clementi's roommate had stopped to do this, perhaps he wouldn't have gone ahead with it. Secondly, we need to become more accepting of others. Acceptance does not mean that you need to agree 100% with what others say, do or feel, but being open-minded and appreciating peoples' differences from ourselves will make us better people. Everyone is different - there are no two people that are exactly alike (even identical twins have differences), and often this diversity allows us to learn new things about others and offers insight that we may not have experienced had we ignored the differences or faced them with intolerance. Lastly, being in a program that is to prepare me for school counseling, the rise of bullying/harassment in school settings bothers me and the addition of this story greatly increases my desire to continue pursuing to be a counselor and hopefully one day being able to prevent another tragedy like this from occurring.

I am not sure what the final charges will be against Ravi and Wei, but whatever they are, one thing is certain - they have ruined their own lives too. Charges of invasion of privacy & possibly manslaughter are certainly not easy ones to explain in the future.

This tragedy directly effected three students' lives, but hopefully the lessons that are offered from it can be learned by everyone who hears it. People need to start learning how to appreciate and accept each other. You may not agree with others, but please learn to respect them. We are ALL people and life is something to be valued.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Brittany S. Pierce

Having class until 10pm on Tuesdays makes it impossible to watch Glee when it airs on Fox. Luckily episodes are posted the following morning :) I just finished watching the Britney/Brittany episode and I forgot how catchy and fun Britney Spears music is...mainly the old school songs. So, I spent 30 minutes of my morning downloading Britney Spears songs instead of reading. oops. Brittany(Heather Morris) on Glee was AWESOME and looked and danced exactly like Britney, not to mention that the episode was full of her hilarious lines. My favorite, " I don't brush my teeth. I rinse my mouth with soda after I eat. I was pretty sure Dr. Pepper was a dentist."

At least I'm caught up with all of my reading for the week. I have my last class of the week tonight and I'll most likely be blasting Britney in my car on the drive there!

One last bit of good news - I received my first grade as a grad student last night and it was 100%! :)

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Appearance


I got my new Warby Parker glasses yesterday and LOVE them! (FYI: I got the Harpers in Black Crystal)


They're the finishing touch to the new NERDY me...back to reading/studying/paper-writing...

Friday, September 17, 2010

Postcard, Love, & Self-reflection

I love snail mail, and it shows with the amount of cards/letters/packages that I take time to handwrite and ship out to friends. But what's even better than making and sending out snail mail is receiving it! I got a postcard from Paris from my beloved best friend and it made my day. I love reading the personalized messages that take more effort to write out with pens than just typing on a keyboard. This is not to be interpreted that I dislike emails and other forms of faster communication, but something about knowing another person took time out of their busy day to hand-write a card JUST for you makes me smile (and feel important). So, thanks TRACY!!

Besides snail mail, I love LOVE. Not the sexual definition of love, but "true wov", erh, love (yes, I was watching Princess Bride recently). I love the different stages of relationships and falling in love. I love hearing of the pursuits and the triumphs, as well as the pitfalls that offer lessons to be applied to life in general. I love hearing about the romance of others, to the kindness both parties offer each other. I love hearing about romantic firsts and the stories of unique and special engagements. I love wedding ceremonies and hearing the promises that are made for a marriage. Basically, I just love LOVE. Where is all of this coming from?

1.) I love Jeremy. I surprised myself yet again when I re-realized how much I truly love him. And I always wonder if it's possible for people who have been dating for over 5 years to still discover new things about their partners that they love, and if they're able to still continue to fall in love with each other instead of out of love. Well, I think it's possible. It's always a positive when you sit back to contemplate your loving relationship and acknowledge that you're more in love with your significant other now than you were at the first "I love yous". (Sorry for my vomit-inducing lovey doveyness...)

2.) I love my best friends (and friends). As cliche as it may sound, without them I would not be where I am and who I am today. They give me strength and encouragement and offer me comfort when I need it the most. Distance and money are always factors that may divide and separate friends, but love and the true appreciation and caring for one another is what keeps friends close.

3.) I love my parents. Offering me intellectual, physical and emotional support throughout my life is not an easy task. No one is perfect, but they're pretty close to it. Not to mention, have always taught me to try seeing the good in everyone I meet even if I've already seen the worst.

Self-reflection is something I've had a love/hate relationship with. I've gone through times when I refused to look inwards to find solutions/causations of problems, and times where I've ignored outside influences and instead focused on myself to make choices. I think self-reflection is something that everyone should do at some point in their lives, and my courses have already made me begin increasing my self-awareness. So, I apologize in advanced if a lot of my future (and recent) entries have been somewhat self-reflective.. I'll try to keep most of them fun and light-hearted :)

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Red pen nerd

Now that I've been to the first class for all three of my courses, I can write more about my graduate student experience.

I think I tend to over-worry, over-stress and over-analyze everything in my life, which sometimes leads to, for lack of better creative terms, "system overload". I like to keep track of everything that needs to be done, and have always been like this with my list making and planner keeping. So I decided to keep my academic life organized by marking important deadlines on a calendar. Well, after doing that for all of my classes last night, I had a small panic attack. The workload starts off fairly light with only 3 -5 deadlines for September, leading into about 8 or so for October and then exploding into 3 - 5 things due per week for November. My red pen that I was using to mark these deadlines seems to have died after being abused to mark down November deadlines. I think next semester I should use blue or purple pen instead since these colors are less associated with stress/danger and more associated with happiness/serenity.

I've decided to dive straight into these courses though and have been doing a decent job on keeping up with the readings (about 2 - 3 chapters per class per week, which are not marked with the red pen on my calendar) and have already written 2 pages of the 3 - 5 page paper due for next Tuesday's class. I've spent at least 2 hours a day reading and studying as well.

I need to remember to just breathe and relax sometimes;That I have ample amounts of time to complete the readings and get the papers and projects done. It's hard to remember that with all this red pen intimidating me though...

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Nothing to lose, everything to gain

I had my first class as a graduate student yesterday! As I expected, I enjoyed it a lot and found the material to be intellectually stimulating (a good sign!). The atmosphere is so different from my undergraduate life. First, there are about 25 students in my class as compared to RU's average 50 - 200. Second, the student age ranges from 22 - 45 as compared to 18 - 22. Lastly, the campus is so small that all my classes ended up in one building, a mere 5 - 10 minute walk from the commuter lots as compared to my travels via RU buses & getting lost in search of classrooms in building basements. It's a lot of change to get used to, but so far it seems promising and inviting.

I was able to study for about 2 hours today (and am planning to do some more reading tonight). After accepting my admittance to the program earlier this year, I anticipated my newfound motivation and appreciation of the opportunity to learn and be a Masters student, yet I didn't realize exactly how MUCH I would love and appreciate it. I guess when you go from having no direction in life, it feels nice to finally have a concrete/more stable goal to work towards.

I'm excited to go to my other two classes next week! I'm sure the course load will become increasingly harder and deadlines will begin to approach quickly, but I'm really ready for it and eager to achieve success.

I'll have to also re-learn how to balance my personal interests with that of being a student again, but I'm sure I can manage. Plus, Charu is moving back home so at least I have a study buddy!

On another note: NFL football season starts tonight & I couldn't be more excited for that! Plans for the rest of the evening include: football watching, hot tea drinking, shower-taking, nail-painting & more reading!

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Labor Day Weekend

I'm spending my labor day weekend at my south jersey house. My house has been invaded by 20+ of my dad's old HS friends that came here for a reunion. It is heartwarming how happy they are to see each other after so many years. I wonder if my HS friends and I will still be this close after so long...

If you know me well enough, you'll know I have slight claustrophobia, so downfall of this reunion is feeling overly crowded in my house. Thus, I was glad to hear my cousin and his gf were in AC for the evening! Went to the Bally's beach bar since it was a beautiful night with great weather. The majority of the crowd at the beach bar must've been 35 - 40+, and the cover band wasn't that wonderful. Either way, you can't go wrong with $4 sangrias & $5 specials. Being "adventurous" I decided to order a Jack & coke after my cousin did...after the first sip, I remembered why I stopped ordering them: 1) I don't even like coke 2) Jack Daniels, while not really making me drunk, makes my face reach that level of "asian glow" at turbo speed. I then proceeded to lose $20 at the slot machines with Jessika. I still love Atlantic City. Maybe I'll celebrate my quarter life bday there next February...

Speaking of birthdays, Jeremy's is fast approaching & I still haven't figured out everything I'm going to make/buy for the annual "week of presents". Any ideas?