Retrospect

When I was ten I was one of those little girls that dreamed of meeting a prince who would sweep me off my feet, would fall in love with me, and would live in one of those happily-ever-afters. When I was fifteen I realized that not many of these "princes" exist in real life. When I was sixteen I started thinking about my future timeline: college, medical school, engaged for 5 years, married and with kids by 27. When I was eighteen I realized that I enjoyed biology, hated chemistry and science apparently hated me in return (based on grades). I also realized that I did not want to go to medical school, and the engaged for 5 years and married with kids by 27 was still part of the plan. When I was almost nineteen I met Jeremy, realized that the man I envisioned when I was ten was real and had fallen in love with me as well. When I was twenty I realized that a 5 year engagement was extremely long and why should you wait that long to marry the one that you love? When I was twenty two I realized that the real world was difficult to get established in and that the 4 years of college I had just finished with a degree in Psychology left me uncertain about what I was passionate in doing career-wise. This is also the year that I realized having children comes with a lot of responsibility - financially, physically, emotionally.

I am twenty five now, nearing twenty six. Reflecting on my timeline...I finished college and managed to get accepted into a Masters program working towards a career that I am genuinely passionate about. I did not go to medical school, but am happy with my decision. I have not been engaged for five years, but have been in a healthy relationship for over seven. Clearly not being engaged means I'm not married, nor am I anywhere near ready to have children.

Many things can change over a 15 year span. Many things change even in a year. I think the problem with making these time lines is that it forces us to forget what is going on in the present and how these current experiences affect and effect us. Having a general idea of what you want out of life is a positive thing, but limiting your opportunities and experiences to fit them can lead to negative results and feelings. As I see more people around me getting engaged, having children, buying new homes, establishing their careers, I start feeling envious and saddened by the fact that they're experiencing all these new stages and steps in their lives that I thought I'd be closer to experiencing at this point. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate all that I have...it's just interesting to retrospect and wonder what ten year old me would think of this twenty five year old me...