When You Were Young

It's really annoying when people are hypocrites. I'm included in that population, but I've been really pissed off lately when people say one thing and do another. For instance when others lecture you about how controlling one group of people are and then are blind to the fact that they're doing exactly the same thing - telling you how to run your life. If they realized this then the better thing to do would be to ask you things like, "are you happy?" and "what do you want to do?", instead of having to talk down to you and give you their two cents about what they think you need the most. It would really be nice to be able to be happy because you're okay with where you're at in life and don't need to have the approval of everyone around you. It also makes me wonder how I'd be treated once I become a mom and decide I'd want to stay home to raise my kids. I feel bad for housewives, househusbands, stay at home moms and dads in general, because society often puts a person's value on how many zeroes are at the end of their paycheck and not on personal happiness and fulfillment. I don't think there's any job more challenging, time consuming, enjoyable and fulfilling than that of a mother/father. Well, here's another long journal entry ranting and probably not making any sense, so I'll end here. I've got tons of things to do anyway - more job apps, GRE studying, taking care of the sick boyfriend, etc...despite what other people may think, I really don't just sit around all day doing nothing...

And before anyone who reads this starts to wonder, "wait, wtf, is she talking about me?", don't worry, I am probably not.

You and Me, We got this great thing

In a couple weeks Jeremy and I will have officially been a couple for 5 years. It's pretty amazing. I never thought it was possible for someone to stay with the same person for 5 years only to find that they're still falling deeper in love on a day to day basis. I've never had such strong feelings towards anyone like this before. Sure our relationship isn't perfect, but nothing in life is. If anything, being with Jeremy has taught me many great things - the importance of patience, the value of trust, the simplicity of how a smile, touch or kiss can suddenly erase all the cares in the world, the comforting ways of knowing you can confide in your significant other and never be judged. Being a half of a couple has also challenged me to learn to also put someone else's interests equal to, if not ahead of your own at times. I think one of the most interesting parts of being a couple is being able to maintain the characteristics, likes and dislikes that still make us our own individual selves, yet sharing new characteristics, likes and dislikes that are strictly "us". I don't really know if this entry makes sense (considering it's 2:54am and I'm probably not wording this correctly), but bottom line is that I'm so in love.

I'm like many girls that grew up watching Disney movies and reading fairytales that implanted "unrealistic" expectations into our minds about the way romance happens. We had often found ourselves waiting aimlessly for Prince Charming or Mr. Right to come on their white stallions to come and sweep us off our feet. We lose perspective of reality and set ourselves up for disappointment...or at least that's how we analyze our situations come our first heartbreak. But true romance is feeling all these scary, amazing and exciting feelings towards one person and knowing that they feel exactly the same way about you. True romance does not have to consist of prince charmings, fancy dinners, extravagant vacations and diamonds (well, maybe diamonds are necessary :P); Instead it can be the love you feel and are so certain of when you just had a fight all day and finally make up and he holds you in his arms and slow dances with you in the middle of his small room at 4am. It can be the love you feel and are so certain of when he plays in the snow with you and lets you draw a heart in the snow and agrees to lay down in the center of this enormous snow heart and risk freezing only to share a moment with you gazing up at the stars. It can be the love you feel when you're about to have a breakdown and he comes up behind you and wraps his arms around you and you suddenly forget what you were so worried about in the first place. It can be the love you feel when he thinks you are asleep and softly brushes a few strands of hair from your face and lightly kisses your forehead. It can be the love that you feel when he agrees to take a million and one pictures with you even though he's probably already blind from the camera flashes. It can be the love that you feel when he agrees to spend a weekend hanging out with you and your little cousins even though he has a ton of exams coming up the next week. It can be the love you feel when you have a great conversation that leaves you both laughing 'til your cheeks and stomachs hurt. It can be the love that you feel when you're apart and still smile when you think of one another. It can be the love you feel when he gets sick and it worries you so much that you do anything and everything to take care of him and nurse him back to good health because the mere thought of any harm happening to him breaks your heart. It can be the love you feel when you realize that those large extravagant, unique engagement proposals don't matter to you anymore and in their place an image of you both slow dancing to a meaningful love song in his dimly lit living room complete with science-related posters and him kissing you softly and getting down on one knee and reciting the few lines he's come up with ending with "be my wife", puts the most sincere and heartfelt smile across your face.

It's not officially 5 years yet, but one thing that is official - I know I found "my one" and though he may not be the perfect prince charming and he may not always be mr. right, he's mine and I'm his and what we have is definitely love.

"You and Me, We got this great thing".