I've been working on self-improvements. Basically trying to stay positive - on life, on day to day problems that may arise, on myself. I've been taking time each day to write in a journal and think of at least one thing I like about myself, call it self-therapy if you will. I have been doing this for about a month and am happy to say that it was useful last night. I've been able to keep myself busy with tutoring, babysitting, family parties/get-togethers, summer job and grad school apps, running, painting, crafting, reading, seeing Jeremy, seeing friends, just about anything and everything. It's been going well so far. I was feeling great, starting to boost up my self-esteem, feel like I'm working towards a goal and then yesterday happened, well more like last night.
It was the same old stuff - stressed out, missing Jeremy, missing the best friends, comparing myself to others, wanting to get engaged, no call backs for summer jobs, trouble with personal statements for grad programs, confusion. When I get stressed out I tend to just sit and overthink EVERYTHING. So last night after I made Jeremy stay up at least a couple hours more than he had intended to, I read that journal of things I like about myself. It really helped a lot. I know I could have everyone tell me things I'm good at and why I'm a great person, but it's always nice to see that I had taken time to appreciate myself.
So I woke up this morning thinking, hey being jobless isn't the worst thing in the world right now, right? I have a house to live in, I'm not starving, I don't have a serious illness, I have a great group of best friends who love me as well as a huge bundle of friends from HS and RU that also love me, I have parents that love me and want to see me happy, I have an amazing boyfriend who loves me more than anything in the world, I have a good heart and am always wanting to and willing to help others, I graduated from a good university in 4 years, I am good at working with children (I think), I have the ability to love other people and love them well.
So while I may be unemployed and busy searching for jobs and the answers to the never-ending question "what am I doing with my life?", i just keep reminding myself that it could be worse. I may not be rich with money, but I'm pretty damn rich with other wonderful things life has to offer. Hmm..now if only kindness and a warm smile could get me some new flip flops & sunglasses for my trip to the Philippines...
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